Humble Choices

21:02

15 August 2010

About six weeks ago, I made a choice. Prageeja, the other intern had gone. John was spending the majority of his time away from the office. The ladies and men were still treating me like royalty. It was vexing. I wanted to be of help and to become a functioning asset to the basic operations of the Office, not exclusively used for my education. I wanted my image of “White American” to at least be softened so that I posed more like a friend. I wanted to dissolve my status. In small ways, I began to try to help out. This is more of a challenge than it seems.

Every attempt I made to pick up a broom or wash a dish was met with, “Madame, Madame. Sit, Sit. Take rest, take rest”. This was down right frustrating and maybe even annoying, but I also did not wish to cause offense or to display disrespect. I took baby steps. I’d begin sweeping the driveway. When prompted to disengage in the task, I would obey and take a short break. After a few minutes, I would find something else that needed attention but would not return to the particular chore that I had been performing previously until the following day. I also arranged ideal circumstances in which my assistance would be needed, i.e. I began arriving at the office a little earlier in the mornings so that there were no others available to unfold rugs and tarps, shuffle desks around, or organize stacks of miscellaneous books.

In America, the kitchen is my favorite place to be. Preparing complicated meals, whipping up the quick snacks, or simply doing the dishes, I purely enjoy myself. When a day came when we were short kitchen hands, I was ecstatic. Without hesitation (and with secret eagerness), I stepped in and took over whichever duties were unfulfilled. Soon everyone realized that I can unsheathe roses and petals of garlic at lightening speeds, so everyday since it has been my job. I also regularly snap green beans, chop the onions (my eyes don’t water), shred fresh coconut, and de-stem greens. These are all easy undertakings, but the sense of ease that I gain personally and the bonding that occurs between the ladies and I is irreplaceable.

That being said, I remember the first time that John Sir caught me participating in the kitchen duties: It was mid-morning, and Aunty Malayamma and I were sitting out in front of the office on news papers. She was chopping onions, and I was picking at some garlic. John pulled up in the Scorpio. Stepped out. Walked towards our work area. Put his hands on his hips. Raised both eyebrows. Began to speak. Stopped. Sighed. Continued walking past us into the office. I followed a few seconds behind to inquire about the appropriateness of my activity. John replied, “No, No. That’s fine. Continue”. Nothing else was ever suggested about the matter.

This was the best choice that I made while working in Bangalore. By offering to help out with such fundamental aspects, I truly am a part of their community. I am a small part of the invisible hand that makes this office run, and by taking such an integral role in the quiet and humble doings, and the ladies and gents and I have developed a sweet mutual respect. I feel that they have accepted me as close to one of their own as possible for my short time here.