Variations on a Theme

26 July 2010

23:22

For most of my stay in India, my mood and attitude has been steady accompanied by reasonable optimism; however, my mental roller coaster took a bit of a negative dive last week. I wasn’t sleeping well. I wasn’t eating well. I wasn’t feeling well. In combination with construction disturbances and lack of productivity in the office, I felt rundown and uninspired.

The atmospheres in which I spend my waking hours toggle between polar ends of a social status scale. In the office, the women of Mahila Milan and the men of the Federation are primarily slum dwellers. Their daily customs and mannerisms are as traditional and authentic as can be found in existence in Bangalore, India. They wear saris with golden bangles around their wrists and ankles accompanied by colorful markings on their foreheads. They are uneducated and poor. At the Convent/Hostel, the ladies are either currently earning their university degrees or are already working professionally. They go to the office via luxurious auto rickshaws. Their attire includes expensive designer brands such as Nike, Addidas, Levis, Pumas, etc. and is strictly western/non-traditional. They come from elite families full of doctors and lawyers. I do my best to walk the middle road between these two extremes, but experiencing culture shock at least twice a day can be exhausting.

Even the variation between the Mumbai SPARC office and the Bangalore Field office is astounding. Mumbai operates very explicitly and orderly. Questions are asked. Answers are given. Information is gathered and documented with precision and ease. Bangalore’s vibe is much more oblique and disorganized. If by chance there is one person in the office that knows which projects have been completed in a particular area, extracting the information is comparable to the intricate removal of compounded wisdom teeth. The response to a direct question will be delivered in a contextual story with little reference to specific detail or timeline.

This very difference in communication style caused quite a dilemma for me last week. A girl in the Mumbai office wanted a report from our about a project taking place in a particular area in the state of Karnataka. Only one man knew of the happenings there, but he refused to tell me about it unless I visited. The colony is 150 kilometers from Bangalore and not a reasonable journey unless planned in advance. Personally, I have great respect for the man stressing that I couldn’t truly learn about the place unless I experienced it for myself, but the Mumbai office requested prompt information and became increasingly impatient. They could not identify with the notion that in this office answers are not provided on a linear scale or in a timely fashion but rather must be individually learned and then shared.

Our office continues to be a zealous construction site: Ceilings collapsing. Bricks plummeting. Shelves detaching. Fans dropping. Everyone has been relocated to outside, but little business is being completed due to sporadic rain showers and unreachable document books. My laptop is without battery, so I too am nearly useless.

The construction taking place is without proper building permits/permission and is illegal. It must be revealed that John refuses to ask permission. He believes that acting first, asking second is the sure way to get things done. On Saturday, the office received an anonymous objection to the construction and has had to put a pause on the project. In private, John revealed to me that he was deeply apprehensive about how to resolve the issue without serious consequence. After making a few phone calls, he made contact with a friend of his who may be able to smooth things over. . . but he is still “praying to God” for a miracle.

I have made countless contacts in Bangalore. I have many friends in the office at the convent/hostel, and random acquaintances that I see daily all over the city including on buses and in market stalls. With these individuals, I talk about people, places, events and activities.

A few days ago in my personal journal I mentioned that I was ‘intellectually lonely’. I have been deprived of the discussion of ideas and beliefs, but I have purposefully avoided these topics to evade possible offense or disagreements in a society where I am already an outcast. By chance this afternoon, John shattered my isolation.

The ladies left early due to rain and lack of shelter. The Federation Men and I were still working. John Sir had time, so I began to ask some of my burning questions about various happenings in our office and his role/history with SPARC. His accounts were open and littered with strong opinion. As our conversation progressed, he invited me offer my perspectives as well, and I was surprised to discover his intense curiosity about American beliefs and reactions to Indian culture. Our ramblings touched on everything from the doings of the Mumbai office to Bangalore office operations to my life at the Convent to family to religion to American politics to food to educational background, etc. As demanding as John can be, he has a just heart and is an invaluable asset to the success of the Bangalore office and is making an immeasurable impact on infinite lives.

Before I left for the day, I reminded John that I would be flying back to the US in mid August. His disappointment and irritation was genuine, and he asked if my stay could be extended. I was forced refuse due to classes beginning. In no way will 3 more weeks in India be enough time for my experience to be complete.

"I'm a Roman Catholic, but I try not to trouble God." - John Samuel